Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Photos Lie

Two weeks before the birth of Sheila, my second child, my husband and I were in Palm Springs.

I looked pretty radiant in my pregnancy and my husband looked like a proud papa to be. I doubt anyone looking at us knew that we were actually on the verge of divorce.

This photo was taken about the 1st of September and I gave birth to my daughter days later on September 12th. By December 12th, my husband and I had called it quits and he had moved out of our house.

It seems funny that we looked so normal, happy even. We were far from happy and probably further from normal than most couples. Why can't I see that in this photo?

We fought about everything after the first year of marriage, maybe even before that. The second baby had been an accident of sorts. Even if you fight, when you are young, you still have sex.

Neither of us was pleased when we found out I was pregnant with this 2nd child because we both knew we were not going to be a couple much longer. Still, ending a pregnancy was not really ever an option.

I'm amazed we looked so calm and so damned happy. I'm amazed that I looked calm and happy in photos with my 3 year old son and my 3 month old daughter.

Smiling for the camera covers so much and lets you show what you want to show. I've always been good at that.

Lucky me.

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